Hi, I’m John and I’m an alcoholic.
I came back to AA after a relapse I swore would never happen. I had five years sober when I stopped doing the basics—no meetings, no sponsor, no inventory. I started managing life instead of living it through the program.
The hardest part wasn’t the relapse—it was coming back. Walking through that door again, feeling the shame and fear, thinking I had to start over. But the moment I said “I’m back,” the room responded with love, not judgment.
That’s when I realized something: it takes more courage to come back than to stay away. The disease wants us isolated. But AA pulls us back into the light—if we let it.
I leaned into the Serenity Prayer again. “The courage to change the things I can” meant picking up the phone, getting honest, and taking suggestions—again.
To anyone who’s come back, or is thinking about it: you are not alone, and you are not disqualified. You are the reason these rooms exist.
Thanks for letting me share
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