Sooner or later, someone will probably suggest that you “get a sponsor.”
Which raises an entirely reasonable question:
Get one to do what?
A sponsor is another AA member who helps you learn how the AA program works.
AA’s Conference-approved sponsorship literature describes sponsorship as one alcoholic sharing with another what has helped them stay sober.
In practice, sponsors often help newcomers understand the Twelve Steps, read the Big Book, navigate early sobriety, and become connected to AA.
What isn’t a sponsor?
A sponsor isn’t your doctor, therapist, lawyer, financial adviser, employment counselor or romantic consultant.
This occasionally comes as news to sponsors.
Good sponsorship is rooted in experience rather than authority.
A sponsor can say:
“Here’s what I did.”
“Here’s what happened to me.”
“Here’s how my sponsor took me through this Step.”
That’s different from:
“I run your life now.”
You don’t need to choose the wisest human being in Alcoholics Anonymous. You probably couldn’t identify that person anyway.
Look for someone who seems reasonably content in sobriety, has experience with the Steps, and has something in their recovery that you would like to have.
Then ask.
If it doesn’t work, you can change sponsors.
Nobody gets custody.
You may also hear…
There are many sponsorship customs: men sponsor men, women sponsor women; call every day; choose someone with a certain amount of sober time; never sponsor friends.
Some of those practices may be very useful.
But customs vary from group to group and person to person.
The essential idea is much simpler:
One alcoholic helps another.
That’s been happening since Bill met Dr. Bob.
If you’re new, try a few different meetings. Your room is out there.